maio 27, 2006
A Verdade da Solidão
Habituo-me todos os dias à solidão.
Uma solidão intensa, existencial.
Uma solidão omnipresente. Mesmo quando estou acompanhada. Mesmo quando estás.
Habituo-me ao sentimento prostrante e cansativo que é a solidão.
Há na solidão um espelho que reflecte o meu olhar. Há na solidão uma ausência das verdades que escolhi para mim.
Aqui, não pode haver espaço para enganos. É tudo demasiado meu.
Na solidão, não há lugar ao som. Há apenas um silêncio. Um silêncio demasiado silencioso. Que não grita. Que não esconde as minhas falhas atrás do preto. Que não me abandona.
Há sempre silêncio na solidão.
Existe na solidão um retrato de mim em mim que é demasiado poderoso para ser negado.
Um olhar desfocado.
Existe na solidão uma panóplia de mãos sem dono, de esgares e vómitos e rios, rios de sangue e colorido e lilás.
Existe silêncio.
Mora na solidão o outro eu de mim mesma.
Que me assombra. Que me persegue.
Conta-me estórias. Tantas estórias... Fala por dentro do silêncio que nada mais pode ser que o antónimo do meu sorriso.
Mora um outro na minha solidão.
E que ainda assim, não muda. Não muda o peso e o infinito da solidão. Não muda o S. O ÃO. Não muda as sílabas. Não muda as mãos sem dono. Não transforma a solidão em antítese da solidão.
Há na solidão um livro que fala acerca de mim. Que escrevo todos os dias. Nas palavras que são todas elas silêncio.
Porque na solidão não há lugar para as palavras. Porque na solidão só há lugar para um corpo. Várias ausências. Vários medos. Imensos monstros.
Há ainda na solidão um livro que fala acerca do mundo. Do mundo que não está presente. Do mundo que não conheço, nem sei agarrar com as mãos. E os dentes. O medo de fugir. O medo de agarrar. O medo de ser eu. O medo da Verdade.
Há na solidão um fio que me liga ao Tempo. Ao Tempo que passa e não me muda. Não altera o meu rosto infantil.
Não transforma as minhas mãos quedas em mãos febris.
O Tempo. Que nada mais é que um Silêncio ameaçador e implacável.
O Tempo é apenas o outro rosto da Solidão. O Tempo e a Solidão são o outro eu de mim mesma.
A solidão... é demasiado grande para que eu a suporte sozinha.
Publicado por Fairy_morgaine em maio 27, 2006 06:25 PM«Sagrada solidão minha»... podes sempre dar em poeta ascética, tipo o Rilke!:)=
Afixado por: KLATUU o embuçado em maio 28, 2006 12:53 AMSei por experiência própria que a solidão não é nada agradável, principalmente se se prolonga ao longo dos anos.
Afixado por: Necare em maio 28, 2006 02:03 PM"A droga é uma substância que vicia mas, a solidão quando se apodera do coração de alguém e lá cria raízes, torna-se num vício muito maior."
força*
Que seja a solidão algo que nos permita compreender aquilo que ninguem vê... que seja com ela que me entendo com a simplicidade de algum bom sentimento que hoje ninguem sente mais... que seja pela solidão que que o meu grito silencioso mais longe chegue... porque existem segredos que só sao percetiveis a quem nao entende o silencio, a solidao e a simplicidade apenas pelos sentidos que nos confundem numa realidade comum...
Afixado por: Segredo em maio 31, 2006 04:43 PMSolidão...
Vives em mim devagar, em silêncio. Bradas alto aos céus a tua vitória inconfundível. Poderias ser um relâmpago que risca os céus e morre depois, mas não. Quando chegaste, passaste a viver comigo. Um viver quase suportável! De inicio, era uma delícia ter-te por perto. Vivia contigo numa coexistência pacífica. Brindávamos à liberdade e à beleza das coisas. Hoje, vivo em luta constante. Até onde pensas ir? Agrilhoaste-me o peito e corrompeste o que sou. Guardaste-me dentro de uma caixinha de música triste e penteaste os finos cabelos negros da dor. Precisavam estar perfeitos para te prendar todos os dias. Engoliste as lágrimas, como quem faz desaparecer o infinito. E vives cravada na minha carne, a ver romper a ferida, o sangue a escorrer, a dor a aumentar. E sempre que a tento apaziguar, colocando compressas de tempo, lembras-me, invariadamente, que estás aqui, a céu aberto, a viver ao meu lado. Tornaste o meu viver insuportável! (//spaces.msn.com/omeurosto)
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